“How Do I Know?” | Originally Published April 13, 2023
Do you ever wonder if you’re supposed to walk through an open door in front of you or leave it open for the person behind you? Is the door open for me, or for her? Sometimes I get an idea of what the next step in my journey might be, but then I pause and wonder.
Is this the path that God is taking me down, or am I carving my own path through the shrubbery?
As you know, I love to write. But did you know that sometimes I get stuck on which part of my writing to work on in any given writing window . . . What’s a writing window? It’s the timeframe that I schedule into my work week that doesn’t get tied up in yarn or complicated by budgeting equations and accounting invoices.
I write . . . and that’s it!
Well, that’s the hope at least. But often I feel pulled in two directions with the content of my writing. You see, I’m a beginner novelist. This means that in addition to my novel, I’m writing lots of short stories to develop and improve my craft. I love writing fiction, and it’s not uncommon for my stories to be swimming around in my mind throughout the day. Every day! So when it’s time to sit down to write, I’m usually drawn to this aspect of my writing first.
However, there’s a part of my writing thoughts that I share in this space on the blog. I’m a verbal processor. And I really enjoy “talking” out my thoughts with you, here in my tiny corner of the internet. I know God is working things out for our good, behind the scenes, without us even knowing the details. And it’s when I respond to the promptings that God puts on my heart, sometimes through my writing and other times in conversation, that I start recognizing the puzzle pieces beginning to snap together.
Today, I was torn between Blog and Book 2 of my newsletter short story series [Sign up for my monthly Knits ‘n Novels emails to read my youth fiction series for free, starting with Book 1!] I wasn’t entirely sure what to share on the blog this time . . . until I started writing. That’s why I like to pause and pray.
Lord, in this moment, what do you have ready to speak through my pen?
My brain is very structured and compartmentalized. It’s hard to be spontaneous, and it’s difficult to color outside the lines of my daily schedule and weekly routine. But sometimes God has something different for me to write, and I need to respond in obedience, with gratitude. If He’s pressing on my heart to respond, it’s for a good reason. Even when it feels like I don’t have the words right then, the Holy Spirit is always faithful to guide my train of thought in the moment that those thoughts are being written.
Recently, God stopped me in my tracks like this, and I’m so glad I listened to His redirection.
About a month ago I was enjoying a women’s night out hosted by the women’s ministry at my family’s church. The coffee and game night happened to be at my parents’ house. This made the invitation to revise the look of my typical Friday night an easy, “Yes!” There was a moment during the evening when I was telling a story to a new friend. All of a sudden it felt like the entire room hushed, which is unusual for a room full of women! That’s strange, I thought to myself as I continued my story. It wasn’t until later that night that this somewhat peculiar moment made sense.
“Will you be one of the speakers at our women’s retreat coming up soon?”
(Apparently, that hushed moment earlier in the evening was the epiphany that sparked in some of the ministry leaders, leading to this invitation.)
My initial response would have been an easy one, since the conference was the same weekend as my son’s drumline competition . . . 3 weeks from that day. But before I respectfully declined, I felt the Lord pausing my spirit.
“Slow down and just listen.
Wait for MY answer.”
So over the next couple days I prayed about it. I talked to my husband. I talked to my son. They both provided enthusiastic confirmation (including an outline of the passage from my husband, complete with commentaries and cross-references) making my decision easy.
I felt like the answer was a clear, “Yes,” and not my instinctive, “No, thank you.” (Scroll down to listen to the audio of my talk at the women’s conference – “Prayer | A Heart of Rejoicing”)
It’s been about a week and half since the event. Let me tell you, it has been incredible to see God’s hand at work in the lives of everyone in attendance that weekend, including me! The ripples of God’s merciful touch in the puddle of my tears from 16 years ago continue to spread outward. He continues to impress His magnificence upon my heart, and the hearts of women He’s brought into my path. God’s goodness was already on its trajectory way back then, during my suffering, to bring redemption and healing to more lives than my own. And I believe He will continue fitting together this puzzle of purpose, piece by piece, while we reside on this earth, prior to our eternal heavenly home.
We just need to pause . . . listen . . . and respond to God’s leading . . .
for His glory and our good!
LISTEN HERE to the audio of my talk at the women’s conference – “Prayer | A Heart of Rejoicing”
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