“Rescued with Gratitude” | Originally published November 29, 2022
Lord, please funnel your words through my fingers so that I may be a vessel to share your truth and hope. You are the Light of the world, and I want to help others find You in those dark spaces. Have your way with my words, Father. Pierce the darkness!
AMEN
I can’t see my hand in front of my face. Are my eyes even open? Maybe my crusted tears have sealed them shut. What does it matter, anyway? It’s not like I can move, let alone breathe. The darkness is so thick, it’s suffocating me.
I’ve known that kind of darkness. I’ve known that despair.
Sixteen years ago I was entering the darkest season of my life. The news that would crumble my world was only one week away. Never would I ever have imagined that I would be facing life as a divorced, single mother. And yet, that life was just around the corner.
The what-ifs were swarming in my thoughts. The fears and suspicions lurking, waiting to pounce at any given moment. Dark, heavy thoughts weighed me down.
He walked me through those what-if scenarios, and brought me to the one conclusion that was constant.
Jesus!
God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear though the earth gives way, though the mountains be moved into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam, though the mountains tremble at its swelling. Selah
Psalm 46:1-3 ESV
The truth is, we really don’t need to be scared of the dark, because that’s where the Light shines brightest. And it’s by His light that we can truly see our grief and process it in the time that it takes. There’s no rush, because God is in it with us. And He’s not going anywhere.
Lord, in my darkest season, you were always near.
Today, I have another perspective of the pain from those desperate years. I can look back on that dark season and recognize the rays of Light where God pierced the dark spaces and flooded my thoughts with Himself.
Thank you, Jesus, for the hindsight to now recognize how you were working in those difficult years. You don’t always allow us to see behind the curtain, but I am so grateful when you do.
I will say though, this perspective still requires intentional effort and repeated practice to retrain my brain to be able to see the little things that spark gratitude in my heart during the hard times. But it becomes a little easier to find joy when I’ve been looking for gratitude. And when it seems like there’s nothing to be grateful for in a season of discouragement and loss, God is still God. He is still good, and He is still faithful.
The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.
Lamentations 3:22-23 ESV
This passage is one of my favorites, because I’m reminded that every morning is a new day to get up and try again. After every failure and falling short of the glory of God, I am rescued with renewed mercy to give it another go.
My Wednesday morning women’s Bible study group has been working to memorize our Scripture passage this semester – one of the Apostle Paul’s letters to the Christians in Colossae that is so relevant in my own life so many centuries later.
For this reason, since the day we heard about you, we have not stopped praying for you. We continually ask God to fill you with the knowledge of his will through all the wisdom and understanding that the Spirit gives, so that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and please him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God, being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience, and giving joyful thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of his holy people in the kingdom of light. For he has rescued us from the dominion of darkness and brought us into the kingdom of the Son he loves, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins.
Colossians 1:9-14 NIV
I’ve been praying all month about what to write for my November post, waiting on the Lord, and trusting His timing. It wasn’t until yesterday morning as I was studying this passage again that this line stood out to me. “For he [God, our heavenly Father] has rescued us from the dominion of darkness…”
There was no way that I could have saved myself. I couldn’t do it on my own. I needed a rescuer. That dark hole of depression, despair and defeat was too deep.
At the end of this monthly journal entry, I can’t think of anything that I’d rather do than sit for another moment in gratitude to my Savior with this song, “Gratitude.”
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Amen, amen! Love you!!
Ugh, my heart breaks again when I think back to that time. You went through that season with strength even in your weakness–I love hearing you point to the source of your strength. Amen!